Re: [linux-audio-user] Obituary for Pete Bessman

RIP, although after hearing this (http://gazuga.net/stuph/ultrafunk.ogg)
I doubt it is going to be "in peace". --Hans

Pete Bessman wrote:

>To Whom it May Concern,
>
>Mr. Bessman was found in the early AM of Sunday, February 19, dead in
>his basement, with a folded up and buttered frisbee lodged in his
>throat. He etched his suicide note into his back with a steak knife
>(don't question it), explaining that a 40 hour work week and a 16 credit
>load at college had left effectively no time for hacking in the past
>seven months. Feeling disgusted with himself, he decided to end things
>the honorable way.
>
>As a parting gift, he uploaded a work-in-progress track to
>http://gazuga.net/stuph/caves.ogg. Little explanation is offered as to
>the nature and origins of this track, but that the deceased was found
>wearing a "SEGA does what Nintendon't" t-shirt may give us a clue into
>the mystery of this tune. Considering that the deceased's bloodstream
>was coursing with methandrostenalone, it is likely that this song came
>about during a brief fit of rage --- but being a complete and hopeless
>nerd, this was expressed with dorky bitpop, as opposed to wanton
>violence and destruction.
>
>Relatives believe the track was composed entirely by the deceased, with
>percussion and synth provided by Specimen --- the project which, by
>having gone so long sans update, drove a rather morbid soul to a
>predictable end --- and with live guitar and bass combined together in
>Ardour. The estimated amount of time invested in the track is around 2
>hours. They further relate that the deceased intended to reanimate and
>terrorize the locals as a zombie, which is why his remains were
>unceremoniously cremated and dumped in a port-a-poopie.
>
>His sole friend, a certain humanoid calling himself Mr. Falcon, provided
>some interesting commentary --- once he had been properly restrained and
>sedated, that is. "That fucker never stays dead," said the bereaved.
>"This one time, at a LAN party, he got so pissed off cuz he was losing
>that he ran outside screaming 'VALHALLA AWAITS,' and then curbed
>himself. We're not sure how he pulled that off, but we were kinda glad
>for it, considering that we didn't have to listen to constant
>accusations of being 'fucking haxors' any more. But whaddya know, I saw
>him a week later, arguing with a clerk at a grocery store because he
>thought he was getting ripped off on rutabagas. He's a Jew, you know.
>Or rather, if you didn't know, you should be able to guess."
>
>The bereaved then began to speak incoherently about "the cleansing," and
>of a giant, three eyed ape that would descend from the heavens and force
>the vegetarians to eat fillet mignon. We're not really sure what that
>was all about, but we take it that it won't belong before the "deceased"
>resurfaces. It is for this reason that we advise against excessive
>celebration, since the resultant letdown that will surely arise when Mr.
>Bessman shows up again might cause a stroke in the poor soul who thought
>he wouldn't have to hear any more crude penis jokes.
>
>Technically speaking, Mr. Bessman is survived by no one, although we
>thought it worth mentioning that he had a doll named "Zirp" that is
>constructed of old scabs and reproductive fluids.
>
>For CBS News, this is Dan Rathers, saying "Nobody can touch the
>integrity of my journalistic standards."
>
>
>
>
Received on Sun Feb 26 20:15:37 2006